How do I feel when I do something special?

First, I want to tell you that my life doesn’t have the special moments very often. The special moment in my life is when I had to show my ability in public places like playing the recorder, presenting the knowledge at the end of term, or having the play. I can remember all these moments although they were the short moments in my life. I always feel nervous and excited when I do these things. My hands will shake a little bit and my heart will beat so fast, so before I go out to show something I had to take the deep breath and stay with myself. I would feel more meditative and confident to do something. I always expect for the good result from these special moments but sometimes it wouldn’t be like my expectation. I would feel sad and hopeless for many days until I got something more interesting to do and I would forget it. Although I have done many shows, I still feel nervous and excited. I have noticed myself that I will feel nervous when I have to do something in action like acting or playing music. But when I have to speak or present in front of people, I wouldn’t feel nervous. I think I have more meditation and know that situation was easy to solve the problem when bad things had happened.I feel nervous when I have to do the test too. I felt excited and hot inside my body. I hope that I could do it. The other special moment in my life that can happen easily is when I did something that I like, for example reading the novel. I would forget everything that was around me and feel happy with my own world. I felt free because I didn’t have to think about my real life, what I have to do next. The time would pass so fast in that moment. I try to make myself feel happy easily with the little special moments in my life. I don’t want to go out to find some things to make myself happy like go out for shopping or watching the movie. If I can’t do it, I will not feel happy. I think happiness depends on your mind. I think when I live with my family, do the things that I like and playing with my friends, these moments are the special moments in my life.